I knew it was only a matter of time before I heard an English speaker make this mistake while speaking Spanish.

I have mentioned before in my emails that I practice an “artes marciales” (martial arts) here in Medellin. The “artes marciales” that I practice is called “jiu-jitsu brasileño” or Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu.

Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu isn’t nearly as popular in Colombia as it is in Brazil or the United States. So when “extranjeros” (foreigners) come to Medellin and they want to practice their Brazilian Jiu-Jitsu while they are here, they don’t have many options and usually go to the Jiu-Jitsu academy where I train.

Tonight, there was a guy from the States who attended the class. His name is “Mike” (not his real name). Since Mike told me that he was visiting Colombia was to improve his Spanish and to meet the woman of his dreams (but not in that order), I made sure that I spoke plenty of Spanish to him.

How To Say I have a cramp In Spanish

While we were training tonight, Mike suddenly stopped and said to me in a voice full of anguish “tengo un cólico en la pierna!”

Unfortunately, that is not how you say “I have a cramp in my leg.”

Mike, actually said “I have a MENSTRUAL cramp in my leg.”

I resisted the temptation to laugh at what Mike said, and explained to him that if you are referring to a sudden, involuntary, spasmodic contraction of a muscle, the Spanish word is “calambre.” And “cólicos” refers to menstrual cramps only.

Later this evening, I saw Mike on the “balanza” (scale) weighing himself. And I aked ¿Cuánto pesa usted?

He replied “noventa y dos kilos.” And then he added “más o menos doscientos dos libros.”

I couldn’t resist the temptation of responding “202 books. That’s a lot of books!”

Well, of course Mike didn’t mean to say that he weighs as much as “202 books, more or less.”

He meant to say in Spanish that he weighs “202 pounds more or less.” But the Spanish word for “pounds” is “libras” — and NOT “libros.”

How To Say Bearded In Spanish

Here’s a Spanish word that my ex-novia (ex-girlfriend) used to use a lot when describing me in the morning: Barbado

An online dictionary says the word “barbado” means “bearded.” I have heard the word used more as a way
to indicate that someone has some hair on their face, but not necessarily a beard. For example, my ex-novia used to say to me:

“Usted está muy barbado esta mañana.”
(Your face is very hairy this morning.)

You may think it is “muy raro” (very strange) that someone’s significant other would address them with the formal word for you (usted). But in Medellin, and several other parts of Colombia, it is not uncommon to use “usted” even with “familia,” “amigos,” “novios,” and even “amantes” (lovers). They also use the words “tú” and “vos” in Medellin – which also mean “you.”

By the way, you may also hear some Spanish speakers use the word “barbudo” instead of  “barbado” to express that one has hair on his face.